Alien Invasion

I have gotten to the age where many of the people I know are having babies. I am not having a baby – other people are. A lot are getting married as well, but most are past that, moving on to the kicking, crying, screaming, covered in poo phase of their lives. I don’t (yet) envy them.

Once, when I was commenting on how all the people I knew were getting married and having kids, my mother said “Well, when you get to my age they all start getting sick and dying.” So, there’s that.

I don’t mind other people having babies. I think it’s really exciting. I love touching bellies (but I always ask permission first) and I am fascinated thinking about how there is a real live human being in there, curled up like a ball and covered in slime. Weird. I even like holding babies. At the last picnic I attended I was given permission to hold an 18 month old boy who giggled every single time I booped his nose. It was beyond precious. Then he cried and I gave him back to his father.

But there is a problem with all this getting married and having babies stuff that is going on, and it is the gifts. OH, THE GIFTS. Wedding gifts are somehow easy, assuming you know the couple. And if you don’t money is always welcome. But just what the hell do you get for a couple who is about to have their life turned upside down? Should you get something for the parents themselves (because god knows they’re about to deserve it) or do you shop for the baby – an unborn creature with a yet to be known personality and sometimes without a sex? Do you shop for immediacy and function, or do you shop for aesthetic and originality because everyone else is shopping for those other boring things. “You can never have too many onesies and burp clothes.”

In the five months I have five births coming up – two in my office, two in my circle of friends and one that will be my new nephew. I want to get them all something. I have perused registries and etsy and pinterest and I have come up with a few ideas. One person had this on their registry

Which I almost bought strictly due to the name. (They got one already, anyhow.)

And of course there is the ever popular and often hideous diaper cake.

Yes, they can be cute, but MEH.

For my sister’s last baby I bought her a thermal bottle holder/tote bag but she found only part of it useful. I can’t remember which part.

In browsing all this SHIT I realize that I would much rather make something. I would like to make a decoration for the baby’s room, or perhaps something it could wear or something their mom could use. I came across this site and found lots of drool worthy ideas. I am particularly fond of lighting and mobiles. What I’d like to do is something that can transition over ages groups. Oh god, am I getting too complicated here? Am I overestimating my own talent?

Once I painted a princess for my niece Abby’s room and apparently it scared her so much that she made her mom take it down. The last time I attempted making a mobile I got as far as cutting the paper I intended to stitch together and the abandoned it because I couldn’t figure out how to get it to balance.

So I leave the question to you, dear internet. Help me out here because I am pretty sure I am over thinking this already, and undoubtedly in over my head.