Its Winter

The last days of our indian summer have slipped away. Last night I retrieved my heavy winter coat from the back of the closet and quickly resewed its torn lining. It smelled exactly as it should of, considering it had been the back of a dark closed space for a year. I've tried to cover the smell with flowery perfume until I can get it to the dry cleaner.

The summer was hard for me. I sense that I am not the only one who felt the rub of some heiniously aligned stars. For those of us who made it to the other side (and a word of prayer for those who haven't yet) there is a freshness in the new winter. I, for one, am not ready. But I've never really been ready for the good times.

Isn't it funny how we know exactly what to do when disaster strikes, but the moments of calm always flub us up? Or maybe that's just me.

The Boy and I each bought a plane ticket home for christmas. Well, to my home anyhow. We're going to be staying at my sister's house along with my mom. Shopping will be had. Eating will be done. We're hoping for snow.

World's Worst Blogger

Although it could be hotly contested, I do believe that I have won the award for 2010's Worst Blogger. It's not that I haven't had things to blog about, it's simply that I didn't want to.

Explanation:

We all know the explantion. When I am depressed I don't write. Period. Once upon a time this did not overlap into blogging but apparently those sunny blogger days are over.

Anyway, I am better now.

Slowly, things are working themselves out. My job, which had seemed to be the source of my severe debilitating anxiety attacks, has changed in some subtle (and some not so subtle) ways and I no longer go to work with trepidation. I still don't know what is in store for me after the new year but I know now that I can last long enough to find out.

My french - carrying over to create a hatred for the french themselves - has miraculously surmounted the hill and reached the other side. I've improved. Which is not to say that my grammar is any better, but rather that my ability to mimic has shined once again and my great french accent has begun to cover up some of my mistakes. I had one visitor at the office ask me if I was from the south of Paris.

And suddenly I don't hate the french as much anymore.

In addition to all this, with the help of my new medication, I am beginning to have enough extra energy to start on a new project. Thus far I haven't any clients but soon I plan to be spending my extra time freelance writing and translating. With any luck.

** Side note - recently a friend of mine was kind enough to bring really good indian food to my house. While there I mentioned that I would like to go to a palm reader and he popped up with the fact that he has a line of ancestors who were palm readers and he knew a little. So he looked at my hands. According to him I was born without any luck. But I have some now. Which I think is very good news. **

So I am on the bus now, on my way to buy a journal and some winter gloves. Behind my back the seasons have changed again. It didn't feel much like summer, but I am fully aware that winter is upon us. I feel like a tape that has been slowed down and just restarted at full speed. In between the two actions some of the words have been garbled and taken on chipmunk voices. I've missed something, mostly likely.

But it's good to know we always have tomorrow.
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