balls plural noun(popular)
After yesterdays fun little note I found that, with the young one I had yet another note highlighting my various faults. This one was riddled with heavy handed scribbles and dark multiple underlines of words like "errors" and "not checked".
She had come home early and assumed the cooking that I was currently in the process of. I found her in the kitchen peeling the zucchini angrily. I had not begun by peeling the zucchini. Silly me, I like the skin.
I went upstairs and finished working with the young one, numb and filled with tears and then retreated to my apartment to call everyone in my phone book. Not only because I wanted to bitch about her, but because I felt something terribly familiar and frightening lingering under my upset: My Depression. Kids, I've found myself in danger again.
The difference this year?? I am going to take my depression by the couilles (pronounced: qwee) and hopefully kick it's dark black ass once and for all. On my list of things to start with? Yoga, Shiatsu, Vitamin B, Swimming, A New Schedule, Therapy. Also, trying to find a way to block out a certain someone's OCD antics. I wish I was born a tad more thick skinned...
Anyhow I woke this morning and decided that the best thing for a new resolve is a new haircut. And so here it is, live blogging style.
When one cuts ones own hair, it is important to remove all superflous items from the bathroom what may catch the bits of flying hair which will be EVERYWHERE. For weeks.
Next, crank up the motivating Big Band music and ready your tools.
I've decided to do this in two steps because of the kind of cut I want to do: Asymmetrical and choppy. This is good for two things: Hiding errors and
hiding errors being chic.
(Note) After years of trial and error I have found that it's best to do this sort of thing before showering and nude. You are going to get hair EVERYWHERE and find it for weeks. It's worth repeating. That said you ain't gonna find any nude photos here kids! Sorry!
Straightening the YES ALREADY STRAIGHT hair while dry allows one to better feel where the bulk of the weight is. Mine is always at the ends making my head look like a lovely mushroom. I started there with my brand new thinning shears.
For the record it was, indeed terrifying. Especially because right in the middle of doing it the first of the month air raid sirens went off. Ha! Also, any good stylist will tell you to use a straight razor instead of thinning shears but I don't trust myself with the likes of a razor so I went for it.
Following this I wet my hair. In order to get the finer details of a cut this is necessary. Next, hack mercilessly with no fear.
Upon realizing hair still had said lovely mushroom thing going on, I showered, blow-dried and picked up the thinning shears again. Next, hack mercilessly.
Shower, Rinse, Repeat. HAIR EVERYWHERE. FOR WEEKS.
Et voila!!! Take that depression! ...Next time we're shaving it all off.